Moving on from a relationship break up is never easy, and it can be especially difficult in midlife when you didn't even see it coming. Breakups are a sad thing, and it doesn't matter if you were in a long-term relationship, marriage, or had just found someone great that you started dating. Here's how to move on after a break up the healthy way, with little drama and a lot of clarity.
Avoid the Break Up Trap of Overindulgence
Break ups hurt and as a result people want to make themselves feel better. The logical solution would be to take care of yourself: get a spa treatment, continue your exercise regime, or talk to a friend.
But since break ups aren't logical, singles try to self-medicate with too much booze, food, and tears. While you should allow yourself a few days to feel the sadness of a relationship break up, you don't need to wallow to the point where you do yourself more harm than good. The key in moving on is to avoid overindulgence in anything, from food to bad memories.
Love Advice: Don't Second Guess Your Decision
If the break up was your idea, don't waste your time wondering if you made a mistake. Feeling a bit remorseful about ending things is natural, especially if there was no obvious issue (like cheating) and you just felt as if "things weren't right." You don't need proof that a relationship doesn't work, and if you're not feeling it, that's the only thing that matters.
Make It Hard to Bump Into Your Ex
One pitfall midlifers sometimes have is that they get set up with a friend of a friend as a result might bump into their ex at the most inopportune times (like when you've just been crying your eyes out or are attending a party solo) after a break up.
If possible, avoid seeing an ex until you get a handle on your emotions. It might sound "teenage" to act weird and overly emotional after a break up, but the thing about dating is that you do go back to those basic feelings you had when you were sixteen. For a short time, focus on new activities and avoid places where running into the ex is a definitely possibility.
Avoid Facebook or Block Your Ex
It might sound harsh to actually block your ex, but Facebook has made break ups especially difficult for people. Not only do you see people like your ex repeatedly on the site, you see what they say and who they talk to. Are they talking about you? Did they go out and find someone new? These questions only make a break up more difficult.
It's Not Too Late to Start Over
One feeling midlifers have shared is that in the early stages of a major break up, they felt that it was too late to start over. As if they had to just live out their life without love or marriage from that point forward. It's easy to feel this way, especially if you just came out of a long-term marriage or relationship.
But when life changes, it often brings unexpected joy and a fresh start you didn't even think was possible. Rather than deciding your fate about remarrying or dating again, get involved in activities and enjoy yourself. Doing this will allow you to tap into the power of possibility. You won't feel as if your fate is bleak, but will instead be filled with anticipation on what could happen next.