Many were surprised to hear that Dancing With the Stars judge Carrie Ann Inaba recently called off her engagement to Jesse Sloan. They had dated for a couple years, and had planned to get married near the ocean, which Inaba believes has "spiritual meaning." Alas, it wasn't to be.
So what happened? We can only speculate, of course, but taking a look at their very public engagement may offer a few clues.
Was Online Dating the Right Option?
While many people find success with online dating, it had to be more difficult for Inaba, who admitted that she met Sloan through the site eHarmony. Being famous makes it difficult to use online dating sites, where daters take their time and email to get to know one another. When you're famous, people may think they already know you.
But Inaba admitted that in order to use the site she didn't put up a picture and kept her identity hidden. Keeping a picture hidden, or using a photo that is old or out of date, is a mistake when it comes to online dating.
Inaba got engaged live on television in March 2011, where she was sitting in on the show Regis and Kelly. She cried tears of joy, but at the same time said, "You tricked me!" to Sloan. While she was happy about the engagement, I couldn't help wondering then if she would have preferred to have this moment be a private one.
I always cringe a little at public engagements. Sure, Inaba is a celebrity and is used to the spotlight, but sometimes the most important moments in your life should be done in private. There are many great ways to ask someone to marry you, but is a public proposal, broadcast for millions, the right way? It can put undue pressure on a new relationship, or cause other issues to come to the forefront.
Inaba showed class in ending the relationship privately. When a romance ends, it can be all too easy to get angry and name call publicly, but Inaba avoided that and simply announced her new single status quietly, and after the fact.
The breakup, which was made public last week, actually happened at the beginning of summer. Breaking up privately allowed by Inaba and Sloan to move on in a more healthy way, outside the glare of the public. They avoided questions about their relationship by doing this, and instead could take time to heal the initial hurt that exists when you make a decision to end a relationship.
"I've always gone out with much younger guys. But I rushed into relationships before really getting to know the person."
Every relationship gives us an opportunity to learn something new about ourselves, and perhaps this is the case for Inaba. One thing is for sure, she will be busy the next few months with the new season of Dancing With the Stars, which starts up again one week from today on ABC.
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