Charity Jobs: Get Your Whole Family to Ride, Walk, Run (or Do Anything Else!) for a Good Cause

Next weekend the Zwick family will bike to raise money for the late actor Paul Newman's The Hole in the Wall Gang Camp. Last year mom Michelle rode the 100-kilometer (62-mile!) course on her own. But after her son saw her do it and visited the summer program for seriously ill children, he decided he wanted to join in.

So the whole family will be among the 300 riders and 400 guests at the Ashford, Conn., ride. (Not everyone is up for all 62 miles – and that's OK.) So far the Zwicks have raised $300. "We all get so involved in our own lives and our own troubles," says Michelle. "It's important for us all, including the children, to see what else is out there and gain perspective on what others go through."

Getting the whole family to pitch in for charity is healthy physically – and mentally. "It gives the kids a sense of empowerment," says Mary Alice O'Dowd, director of psychosomatic medicine in the department of psychiatry and behavioral science at Montefiore Medical Center in the Bronx. "Even though they're kids, they can help someone."

A shared activity sends your kids the message that your family believes in altruism. You can tell them, "There are people less fortunate than us, and we should help them," says O'Dowd. "There's going to be a bike ride, and I think we should all do it."

Don't force it

Avoid being overbearing. "You don't want to force the kids to do this morning, noon, and night," says O'Dowd. Consider letting each child choose a charity to do – either with the whole family or with just one parent.

"Charity comes from the heart," says child psychiatrist Elizabeth Berger, author of Raising Kids with Character. "It certainly begins at home, too – as these old adages suggest. But the parent's goal should be lighting up enthusiasm in the youngster, not forcing hypocrisy through guilt or shame." A small, sincere charitable gesture "is much more of a growth experience than pushing the child reluctantly into an activity," says Berger.

Beverly Hills psychotherapist Fran Walfish, author of The Self-Aware Parent, suggests that parents say, "We would love to do this as a family and sign everyone up." It's OK if a child says, "I don't want to ride my bike 20 miles," she says. "It's risky when you get resistance from kids and force it. My feeling is it should be optional for the children." Otherwise, the child simply feels resentful and even less humanitarian. But a kid who doesn't participate needs to figure out some other productive activity. "Don't let him just sit and veg in front of the TV," she says.

Find a charity job that means the most to you and your kids

Often families like to pitch in for a cause that affects a close relative. Every October, the Rotering family – mom Nancy, dad Rob, and their four boys – will set out to raise money for juvenile diabetes by doing the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation's Walk to Cure Diabetes. (My friend Nancy's oldest son, Charlie, 16, learned he had diabetes when he was just 2. ) Why do the walk together? "Because dealing with a chronic disease is a 24-hour-a-day, seven-day-a-week challenge for the entire family," says Nancy. "The family feels they're working toward a cure for this challenge they share."

Be a good role model

"Children pick up their parents' attitudes toward the world and its problems by observing what the parents do and say," says Berger. "So parents who are concerned and involved with causes and charities are likely to inspire their children to want to be concerned and involved as well."

Walking the walk is always better than just talking the talk. "Because children are hands-on doers, they are more likely to absorb their parents' commitment to good causes if the parents can find a way to include the child in actual action rather than just listening passively to dinner-table conversation about the charity's latest board meeting and its policy decisions. Of course, children often will be deeply influenced by a parent's heart-felt commitment to a cause even if the child only learns about it through abstract and indirect ways."

What matters most is your "sustained emotional investment" to a cause, says Berger. "The child models himself or herself on the admired parent. The child thinks, 'I want to grow up to be a devoted, committed person to.'"

Choose wisely and vet your charity

Concrete activities for good causes are wonderful, says Berger. "They can build enriching memories of family life that children can take with them forever. "

To make sure you're burning those calories for a worthy group, check out monitoring and rating agencies such as Charity Navigator. (For example, the Children's Aid Society scores high.)

Do some soul searching

"It is food for thought that the poorer Americans are, the more of their net worth is donated to charity," says Berger. "For the grown-ups to experience a bit of guilt and shame here would not be a bad thing."

If you're not up for the exercise idea, you can still give to good causes.  To sponsor a participant in the Hole in the Wall challenge, for example, click here.

Meanwhile, check out sites such as volunteeringinamerica.gov, serve.gov, networkforgood.org, dosomething.org and volunteermatch.org. They can help you figure out your interests. Just enter your zip code, city or state and words that describe what'd like to do near your neighborhood. Or if your family would feel more connected to helping your own community, build a house through Habitat for Humanity or pitch in at the closest food bank.

Ready to join the more than 63 million Americans a year who volunteer through a formal organization?

For more about what families can do together, read:

14 Fun Family Fitness Activities

Top 10 Fun Family Day Activities to Start Doing Now

For more about volunteering, read:

Top 10 Tips on How to Make Like Bono and Volunteer

How to Raise Kids Who Care