Daters: Avoid These Mistakes at the Holidays

With the holidays right around the corner, you might be feeling a little stressed when it comes to your dating life. The holiday time often comes with expectations that might not mesh with your current relationship. The good news is, you're not alone. Here are some common mistakes midlife daters make at the holidays, and how you can avoid them.

Expecting Too Much Out of a New Relationship

Should you bring your new guy or gal to the family party? Will you have to answer too many questions? Will your new love think things are serious when they really aren't yet?

You see what happens when the holidays approach? Too many questions run through your head and some of those might land on your brand new relationship. Rather than assuming that your new love interest will come to your family party or church with you, ask them if they'd be interested in going with you. Not everyone is comfortable to do that right away in a relationship, so if your new love says "no thanks," it doesn't mean they aren't enjoying their time with you. It also doesn't mean you have to break up. The holidays are notoriously hard on new relationships, so rather than speeding things up prematurely, slow them down instead.

If your date isn't comfortable being a "couple" in front of the family yet, just agree to each do your separate family activities and see each other again afterward. That way your relationship will continue to make progress at a natural pace.

Buying Weird or Inappropriate Gifts

There is an art to gift giving, and some people just don't have it, so don't expect that new guy or gal in your life to get you the perfect thing. Or anything. Again, talking things out ahead of time as to whether or not you'll even exchange gifts is a good way to avoid making a major relationship mistake this time of year by assuming your new love will handle things the same way a spouse would. It's okay to get something small for each other, and buy more personal gifts when you've dated longer and know each other a little better.

Listening to Your Friends

Friends are a great source of support, but sometimes when it comes to our dating life they can be nosey, pushy, and basically no help at all. Not everyone understands what it's like to date in midlife. When the holidays approach, their unhelpfulness may just go up a level, and include pressure to invite your date to parties, questions about whether or not you're going to get married, and more.

No matter how sure you are of your life choices, your friends may have the power to make you rethink your relationship. But rather than get caught up in their expectation for your happiness, gently tell them that you're doing fine, then change the subject.

Breaking Up With a Long-Time Love

Ironically, the holidays can make you think your current relationship isn't up to snuff, simply based on the fact that other couples are: getting engaged, married, living together, etc. But you can't compare your relationship to anyone else's, so unless you think that your current love interest is the wrong person for you, think twice before ending your relationship.

More in Dating and Relationships:

• Are You Too Fat to Date?
• How the Dating Mistakes You Made In Your 20s Benefit You Now
• What Is Love?