This is why I hate Evites: there should be no maybes in life… or party invitations.
Evite, the social planning website for creating online invitations, offers potential attendees three options—yes, no, maybe. So when I invited a bunch of people to my party—seven people responded, 'maybe.'
I get it. I live in Los Angeles where people have a really hard time committing to a cup of coffee at Starbucks. How can I expect to pin anyone down to a party that is two weeks in the future? It's impossible to make definite plans in a land where Steven Spielberg could spot you on the street and offer you a starring role in his next blockbuster. Or you might bump into George Clooney and be invited to his holiday soiree in Lake Como—on the same day as my humble gathering!
Seven people replied maybe. My party is now in a few days. Seven people actually means fourteen people when you consider spouses or significant others or George Clooney back from Lake Como.
Fourteen people might show up. Or they might not. Fourteen people is a party in itself. Fourteen people would be a nice group to charter a boat for a cruise around some body of water. Thank God I didn't charter a boat for this group—because I might get stuck paying for an empty boat…or there might be so many people we would sink. Maybe.
Do I order a few additional cheese plates? Maybe. Do I make a few more dozen stuffed mushrooms or Spanakopita (and by making, I mean heating—thank you Trader Joe's)? Maybe. Do I buy a few more bottles of booze? Maybe. Wait, who am I kidding? Of course! At least tequila doesn't spoil.
A few days ago I nudged the maybes. I sent another message to them though Evite.
"We are getting closer to the date, I want to make sure I have enough food and drink, so let me know if you plan to attend."
I waited for a rush of frenzied responses. Definite commitments. Apologies. Heck, I'd even take a convoluted lie.
Nothing from the maybes.
And it dawned on me. The maybes didn't realize this nudge was for them. They assumed the nudge was for the not yet replied (because, I suppose that is a fourth option). The maybes thought maybe was a response.
Evite has trained us to believe that maybe was as good as a yes or no. After all, it was one of the choices!
My husband suggested we change the location of the party and only tell the people who responded yes. Then we leave a note on the door for the maybes, in case they show up.
Maybe the party was moved.