Usually when we think about people who might be unhappy with Valentine's Day, it's the singles that come to mind. But those who are married or in a relationship are just as vulnerable and can often feel a letdown in the days before and after Valentine's Day.
Here's how to deal with Valentine's Day disappointments.
Discuss Your Expectations for the Day
Some feel that Valentine's Day is just another made up holiday while others look forward to it. If you're newly dating, it's a good idea to discuss your expectations. Midlifers especially have issues with the level of Valentine's Day participation. They often use the history of their previous relationships as a guide, when in fact every relationship is different.
It's not unusual for some couples to feel good just buying cards for each other while others may choose to skip the day all together. Whatever you decide has to be right for both of you. A good strategy is to ask "How do you feel about Valentine's Day" or "What are your expectations?" and listen with an open mind to what your partner says.
Valentine's Day When You're Married
Married people sometimes get into a rut when it comes to Valentine's Day. They start off feeling as if they have to celebrate the day because they're young and in love, and as years go on the celebrations get more and more tame with less thought going into them.
Instead, talk with your spouse of changing things up. Maybe the right step is just to do romantic things for each other randomly throughout the year instead of on Valentine's Day. Maybe you'd like to have a movie night instead, where you snuggle in instead of heading out to dinner somewhere.
The Myth of the Perfect Valentine's Day
Too many singles want "the perfect" Valentine's Day with their sweetie, which can never quite be achieved. It's like setting yourself up to fail before the day even rolls around. There's no right or wrong way to celebrate. What's more, if you're anticipating something huge, even a nice dinner and a card can seem lame when you've built up an idea of what the day should be.
If you're someone that really gets caught up in the Valentine's Day celebration, stop the "should" thinking. Allow the day to progress naturally and enjoy the big and small moments that may happen.
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