How to Cope with a Pink Slip

In the movie "Ramona and Beezus," the 9-year-old star washes cars and sells lemonade after her dad loses his job. The tale (based on Beverly Cleary's novels from the 1950s and 1970s) is still current. For a fifth of U.S. families today, no one is working. Here are 10 tips to help you get by—and even thrive—if you or your spouse is no longer gainfully employed:

1. Be honest. Kids want to feel that their parents are willing to share with them. Otherwise, they think that the truth is too awful to even talk about or that their parents don't think they're mature enough to deal with it. "All of those messages undermine kids' ability to actually cope," says Dr. David Schonfeld, director of the division of developmental and behavioral pediatrics at Cincinnati Children's Hospital Medical Center and a member of the American Academy of Pediatrics' disaster preparedness advisory council. Still, skip the gory details. "Put in simple terms what happened," says Schonfeld. See guidelines from the AAP on preparing for disasters and from the American Psychological Association on talking to your children about the economy and managing stress in tough economic times.

2. Reassure your kids. Make them feel loved. And if it's true, tell them you've got enough money saved to pay for food and college tuition. Say, "'We're not in jeopardy of losing our house,'" says Scohonfeld. "'We may not be able to eat out as much, but we will have a place to live, and we will be together.'" Kids want to know how your job loss will affect them. Help them realize no one needs to panic. Instead, talk about your plans for finding a job and living on less.

3. Discuss what everyone can (realistically) do. Like Ramona, kids are unlikely to earn enough money selling lemonade. "Children may try to come up with fantasies about what they can do," says Schonfeld. Instead, help them think of concrete, practical, helpful steps they can take, such as cleaning their rooms or making dinner. Kids can reduce your stress level—and make you smile and relax.

4. Show empathy. You may be tempted to call your partner a big fat, slob, but resist the urge. He (or she) may derive his sense of self from his job. Say to your partner, "'I'm not in your shoes, but I can only imagine. You've been so successful, and here you are really wondering if and when you're going to find a job,'" says Michele Weiner-Davis, M.S.W.,  founder of divorcebusting.com and author of Divorce Busting. "Very often women get scared about this role reversal, and they take a hard line: 'Pull yourself up by the bootstraps, Bud, and get going.' It's not helpful if it's not accompanied by some appreciation and understanding for what he might be going through."

5. Give compliments—and assistance. Offer to help with brainstorming or anything else. Then praise your partner for making cold calls, sending out resumes or taking any action, says Weiner-Davis. "Don't view the attainment of a new job as the only reason for accolades."

6. See the experience as a teachable moment. Everyone is learning valuable life skills that can help with adversity in the future. Take pride in how your family is coping with a difficult situation, says Schonfeld.

7. Take care of your health. You'll look and feel better. Make time for fun, free family fitness activities—from tossing a Frisbee to raking and digging in the garden.

8. Change your budget. Write down ways to reduce expenses. Big spenders need to be especially careful. You may enjoy playing board games and eating cheap spaghetti together at home.

9. Reach out to others. Try the YMCA, community groups or your church. Consider social networking sites such as LinkedIn and Facebook. Also, a volunteer position could lead to a paying one. Check out good resources, such as the U.S. Department of Labor's online handbook for finding and applying for jobs. And consider talking to a career counselor. To find one, visit resources such as the National Employment Counseling Association and the Career and Personal Development Institute.

10. See the silver lining. A layoff can give you a chance at a second act. "A lot of these folks who have worked all their lives actually enjoy being home," says psychologist Robert Chope, professor of counseling at San Francisco State University and author of Family Matters. "Think of this as an opportunity to really think about what you're doing." You may lose stability and structure—but find your true calling. "There is a silver lining, and it's not just being Pollyanna-ish," says Chope. "Is the identity you have the one you really want to have—or do you want to do something different?"