Kiss & Zutell: My Daughter Wants A Boob Job!

What to do when the kid you think is perfect has other ideas.

By: Irene Zutell

February 28, 2011

2 Comments

Source: Getty Images

Your perfect daughter wants a boob job.

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Dear Kiss & Zutell—

My twenty-two year old daughter wants a boob job. I was shocked when she asked my opinion, so I probably didn't react the way I should have. (I yelled and told her it was the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard). I know she's an adult (she makes her own money and lives on her own), so I can't stop her. But still…I'd like to try. I think she's perfect the way she is.

Just a Mom

Dear JAM—

As a former, reluctant Girl Scout, I grew up with the motto, Be Prepared. And never is it more important than when you're a mom. The minute your child says, 'I want to speak privately', change your outfit—into something Kevlar. Whenever my oldest daughter whispers, 'I have to talk to you—alone,' a Power Point Horror Show whirs in my brain. I take a few deep cleansing breaths and gird for the gut punch. She could tell me anything: "I got a tattoo of Justin Bieber on my neck;" "I buried daddy in the backyard;" "Charlie Sheen bought me a Bentley." And I am ready to handle it.

You lost your cool. It's understandable. You think your daughter is crazy to want to augment her perfect appearance. But obviously this is something that's been bothering her for a while. She's probably at her first job and has just saved enough money. Instead of splurging on a trip or jewelry, she wants boobs.

But it's a big deal. It's surgery. Real serious surgery. Recovery can be very painful. And, if she decides she doesn't like the results and wants a do-over, need I say more than, "Jacko?"

So now that you've calmed down, tell her these things. Say you understand, or at least, are trying to. Don't act judgmental. Tell her to think about this a little more. Remind her of all the beautiful people out there (actresses, models, sports figures, friends) who aren't so well endowed. (I'd name some right now, but am afraid by the time this goes to print, some will have had boob jobs!) Point out some of the disadvantages of big boobs—your tennis game goes to hell, you need a mirror to see your shoes, clothes don't fit as well.

If she's still adamant, make sure this isn't some boyfriend pressuring her. Tell her she should never alter her appearance for anyone else. If someone wants her to change, there's only one thing she should change—her relationship. Or suggest a quid pro deal—she'll enlarge her breasts after he extends his…I.Q.

If she tells you that this is something she really wants and you can't stop her, then don't try to. It sounds like she's made up her mind. Help her find a good doctor. Drive her to her appointments. Take her in for her surgery.

After all, a daughter with big boobs is better than no daughter at all.

Kiss & Zutell wants to answer your questions about anything. So please leave questions in the comment section below—K&Z

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Anonymous | Mar 16, 2011

Dear Kiss and Zutell, We have friends who have 3 beautiful children, two of them toddlers. Our families are close and we regularly do things together, often dining out or going to community events. The problem is this - the kids are usually wearing dirty clothes with their hair (the girls) in tangles and messy faces and hands. Sometimes (and I cringe even saying this!), they even smell a little funny. We were actually out once where I overheard someone say "such beautiful children but why are they so dirty..." It bothers me too and frankly I get a little embarrassed for them sometimes. Should I say something to my friend, their mother, or just mind my own business. It's such a personal thing....and parenting is hard enough without others being critical. What should I do??? Thanks, Conflicted Friend

Anonymous | Apr 15, 2011

Honestly, that sounds as though there's a little something going on in that home - or at least that's what most people would assume upon seeing children in such a state. At most doctor's offices and schools, the children would be reported to the county/state for welfare and protection services. So, I understand that this is nothing to brush off or look the other way about. I'm a fan of "myob" life-tactics but not when it comes to the welfare of children and animals PERIOD. Something really must be said - coming from a close friend may make it easier on the parents. Try taking both parents aside at the same time and relay to them what you've been hearing people say about their children. That way your concern is not only for the children but also for the entire family. Additionally, the criticism is coming from random unnamed strangers (or friends who "shall remain nameless to spare drama") and not from you. This way you are avoiding an uncomfortable situation and you are a friend helping a friend rather than a friend criticizing a friend. I'm no advice guru like Irene but I hope that this helps :)! - Dr. Rebecca Chung

Anonymous | Apr 15, 2011

Honestly, that sounds as though there's a little something going on in that home - or at least that's what most people would assume upon seeing children in such a state. Try taking both parents aside at the same time and relay to them what you've been hearing people say about their children. That way your concern is not only for the children but also for the entire family. Additionally, the criticism is coming from random unnamed strangers (or friends who "shall remain nameless to spare drama") and not from you. This way you are avoiding an uncomfortable situation and you are a friend helping a friend rather than a friend criticizing a friend. I'm no Irene but I hope that that helps :)!