Kiss & Zutell: My Wife's Mid-Life Crisis Involves Boudoir Photos

Dear Kiss & Zutell,

I need your help to keep a disagreement from becoming a war. My wife has always taken pride in her appearance and for that I'm grateful. For a woman in her mid-50's, she looks terrific. One of her friends just blew a wad of $$ on a "boudoir photography" album. She's also in her fifties, and thanks to good lighting, makeup and Photoshop, her pictures look like a woman in her 20's. A completely different woman altogether, that is. Still, she fools herself into believing that's the "real" her.

I love my wife and I recently lost my job. We're not in financial straits (yet) but she's intent on doing this nutty and costly ego boost. She's even suggested I partake in their "hot couples" pictorial package. 

Signed Not Into It

Dear NII—

Hot couples package? I'm dying to know which one... Tarzan & Jane? Bonnie & Clyde? Antony & Cleopatra? Dr. Phil & Dr. Ruth? Now there's a cringe-worthy visual, no?

Obviously, your wife has a streak of narcissism that you don't share. At least her desire is for mere still photos, albeit scantily clad. Be glad she's not of the Rob Lowe/ Paris Hilton/Kim Kardashian (the list goes on) video school and isn't planning a full motion and sound video memento.

Vanity is a part  - a very big part -  of human nature. Society encourages it in females and discourages it in males. The most profitable businesses on earth are those that serve female vanity. Cosmetics, fragrance and fashion have margins that would make a drug cartel envious. When asked what she did for a living, Estee Lauder once answered "I sell dreams in a jar."

Boudoir photographers sell dreams in 8x10 frames.

No one's dreams should ever be squelched (except Freddy Kruger's) so I have to weigh in on the side of your wife. With the miserable economy and unemployment, I understand your concern. So how about striking a compromise - and here are two.

1) Vanity photography is hardly a recession-proof business, which means the owner would rather make some money than no money. Negotiate his most economical package at a discount and tell him if she likes the results, you'll be back for more.

2) Have some fun and play Helmut Newton yourself. Have her dress as she pleases and shoot your own album for her. This attention might be what she's really seeking anyway.