Kitchens Are Cars For Women

The more upscale the kitchen, the less likely someone actually cooks.

Are kitchens the new cars?Source: Getty Images

Are kitchens cars for women?

A well-off friend of mine is looking for a new house. Just for giggles, I've accompanied her on a number of walk throughs. Besides being appalled at the filth behind some very elegant gates and doors, I learned something I never realized before. Kitchens are cars for women.

Most men love cars - some men, as they say in the business - "wear" their cars. What they drive is an extension of their own persona.

Gas guzzling "dig me, I've arrived" luxury sedan? Fast and furious import sports car? Muscle bound blue collar pickup truck? Green hybrid econo box? Mid '60s rococo personal luxury car? Each makes its own unmistakable statement, giving us instant insight into the owner. A car tells us who a man is, or who he would like us to think he is. A rolling status symbol.

I like to cook. And if I have a stove and oven, I can pretty much get it done. As long as a kitchen is clean and functional, it's okay with me. Little did I know there's a whole sub-culture of women who view kitchens the way men do cars — status symbols loaded with bells and whistles. Swiss made designer sinks that cost more than a gold watch. Counter tops with enough linear feet of granite to land a small plane. Center islands with their own beaches. Walk-in refrigerators with plasma screens and surround sound. Ovens that could bake a Barcalounger.

Strangely though, each fabu kitchen I visited looked as if it had never been used. Not a single All-Clad sauté pan had the slightest scorching. The eight-burner stoves were shiny with out-of-the-box gloss. And just about every refrigerator had a several magnets from take-out restaurants. A-ha!

Well, at least the guys are driving their cars.

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