If you think it's silly to have a list of goals that relate to your dating life, think again. Finding love or having a better relationship is an excellent resolution to make, and every bit as important as things like losing weight or getting healthy. In fact, positive relationships are just as important to our health as getting exercise.
Here's how you can achieve your goals of dating and finding love.
Make a Goal You Can Achieve
First, in order to make a goal you can actually reach (whether it's for your dating life or something else), remember the mnemonic "SMART," which stands for:
In this case, you'd make a goal of say, joining a new club or attending a singles function three times a week, rather than saying, "I want to meet someone new."
Achieve Your Goals of Meeting Someone New This Year
If your goal is just to meet a few new people you might want to date, a good way to achieve that is engage in a variety of new activities. Join a group where you know you'll meet people of the opposite sex, sign up for a singles group, or get your dating profile in tip top shape.
By simply meeting more people, you'll increase your odds of finding someone special.
Have Fun With Dating
You'd be surprised at how many midlifers tell me that they find dating stressful. Dating should be fun, and if it isn't, you're putting too much pressure on yourself.
To lighten things up, remember to date casually, which does not mean sleeping around or a friends with benefits situation, but instead means getting to know a variety of different people. Doing this will allow you to feel secure in your boundaries so you can just have a nice time with the people you meet.
Break Up With Someone When You Need To
Midlifers sometimes have a hard time ending a bad relationship. Perhaps they aren't confident that there is someone special for them out there, or maybe they just don't want to be alone. While it's understandable, it also limits your chances of ever meeting someone that could be good for your life.
Realize that breakups don't have to mean loneliness. Ending a relationship that isn't good just means that you are making room for one that is right.
Place Value on What You Bring to a Relationship
In other words, don't sell yourself short. Midlifers sometimes carry around with them insecurities they've built up for years and years, and when they go on a few dates they silently tell themselves that no one will be interested in them.
Don't do this to yourself. Everyone is interesting, and if you're having a hard time expressing that on dates figure out why. Do a "mock" date with a friend (a good friend will help you with this and not make fun of you) or do some soul-searching to determine certain areas that "trip" you up when it comes to your confidence.
For example, do you get tongue-tied when it comes time to talk about your old relationships? Do you feel bad about your body? Whatever the issue, work through it so you can present your best self to the new people you meet.