Look Up a Long-Lost Friend

Deborah and I hadn't seen each other in four decades when we spotted each other across the room at our 40^th high school reunion, the first one either of us had attended. We were best friends in high school, but our lives had drifted apart. There was no big breakup, no shouting, no tears. I went to college in another state, and both our families moved away from the city where we grew up.

First Day Together Since We Were 18

Now Deborah lives and works in LA, 3,000 miles from my Hudson River town. She was back east on vacation last week and we would spend our first day together since we were 18.

When I mentioned this, a friend of mine was horrified. "You're kidding," she said. "What on earth will you talk about all day?" All of a sudden I began to wonder. Would Deb and I yak nonstop all day, or find nothing to talk about at all.

The Comfort of an Old Friendship

I needn't have worried. The conversation flowed over lunch and a leisurely visit to an outdoor sculpture garden followed by homemade ice cream.

Our lives had moved in very different directions. Deborah is a Blackberry toting bank VP with 65 people reporting to her. I am a yoga-pants-wearing work-at-home writer with a cellphone that doesn't text. I'm married with a child and a grandbaby on the way. Deborah is single. My idea of a perfect vacation is rafting the Grand Canyon; hers is antiquing in the English countryside. If we met today, we probably wouldn't become friends. But that doesn't matter because we already are.

I see the same qualities in Deb that I loved when we were teens. The independence and courage that inspired her to relocate across the country alone when she was 27. Forthrightness and practicality. She's funny and warm, but no-nonsense too.

A Future Full of Memories

I'm so happy to have Deb back in my life. We're going to get together in August when I'm in California for my grandbaby's birth. Eventually, when she retires, Deb plans to move back East. I see us on the porch in our nineties, rocking away, chattering about soccer games and Latin class.

Do you have a long-lost friend from your childhood? Do yourself a favor. Look her (or him) up. There's a heart-warming ease sliding back into a friendship you misplaced decades ago.

Read more about the healing power of friendship:

The Secret to Being (and Keeping) a True Friend