Monday's Question: How Long Should You Let Your Kids Live at Home?

Expecting grown children to move out of the house immediately is definitely an American culture thing, something that is not practiced in many other countries. Personally, I think families would be much more close knit if this were not such a common practice. Of course, there is always the fear that the grown child will become lazy and just mooch off the parents. What my parents told me at one point is that they would love for me to live at home as long as I'm either a full time undergraduate student, or I'm in need of a place while I'm actively looking for a job. The latter is likely to occur at some point, since there aren't many jobs in my field (there aren't many jobs period; I can't even get a summer job!)and I'm grateful for my parents' generosity. However, I really would enjoy having my own place (as I think most young people would), so I'll be getting one when I'm financially able.

Setting up house/ground rules for adult children living at home can save you a lot of trouble down the road.

"Despite last week's roller coaster on Wall Street, there's no doubt in the minds of most smart people who study the economy that things are getting better." WTH? Where the heck do you live? On Mars? Things are NOT getting better. Even asking the question, "How Long Should You Let Your Kids Live at Home?" implies that there is choice there. I probably won't have a home in the next month, so your question is a moot one. I suggest you go and read Paul Krugman and see what he says about the economy. He's a "smart" person who studies the economy. Sheesh.

how about your 37 year old son is a victim in a car crash that leaves him with spinal problems and clinical depression.his injuries have left him unable to work but he does what he can around the house.he worked mostly as a cook and they never offered him any benefits that lasted past employment.he has no money now and is in the middle of a disability hearing to decide by judge if he is considered legally disabled.when is a good time to throw him out?i mean i did already,i just want to know if i picked the right time.hope to hear back from you.thanks

Both of my sons, in their early 20's, have moved home in the past year. They both pay rent, do their share of house upkeep, and they come & go as they please without having to answer to me. The rent is enough to be taken seriously but is quite a bit less than they could find on their own. My sons are employed, attend to their own personal needs (car, insurance, food, laundry, etc). I still do those special "Mom things" that parents do for young adults, without enforcing parental rules for living at home. The basic rule is: treat the people in the house with respect. It took some practice to transition from a parent-teen dynamic to adult-adult child relationships, but now we all are enjoying the current arrangement.

I grew up in a neighborhood where there were many adult children living with their parents. To avoid this fate, my parents set very clear, very reasonable guidelines. They said that I was allowed to live with them for one year after college—it could be right after college to save money, or later if I hit hard times or was experiencing a big life transition. They said (joked?) that the offer would be rescinded once I turned 30, and that the offer was not applicable to any spouses or children I may acquire (e.g. if you're old enough to get married and have kids, you're old enough to take care of yourself). Of course, my parents were caring and I always felt that I could turn to them in an emergency, but by having the conversation and setting guidelines when I was still very young and living at home they set the expectation that I would grow up to be financially independent. I never did take them up on the offer to house me for a year after college....