Obese or Abuse? Daughter, 7, Must Diet, Mom Says

Mother claims she's preventing her daughter, 7, from developing eating disorders. Some say forcing her kid to diet is guaranteeing one.

Mom puts daughter on dietSource: Getty Images

A mom puts her daughter, 7,on a strict diet and boasts about it in Vogue magazine.

Mother tells all in Vogue article: Claims she's preventing her daughter, 7, from developing eating disorders. Some say forcing her kid to diet is guaranteeing one.

Mommy-bashing is not a sport I like to engage in but New York socialite Dara-Lynn Weiss completely deserves the intergalactic whooping she's getting after telling Vogue magazine's readers - boasting really - how she forced Bea, her 7-year-old daughter, to lose weight, monitored her every mouthful and humiliated her with friends and in public to keep her from eating.

Baby Fat?

Weiss, who herself says she struggled with her own weight, says the last straw was when her daughter came home from school in tears after a boy called her fat.

She said her pediatrician diagnosed her daughter as clinically obese (she is 4 feet 4 inches tall and weighs 93 pounds). And 7. Did I mention she's 7?

And the kid was hungry all the time! Never got full. (Like she was trying to fill a void inside, maybe? Like she wasn't getting the emotional comfort a kid needs, maybe? Just wondering...)

Weight Watchers-like Diet for Kids?

Having a hungry kid is so annoying, her mom says: "It is grating to have someone constantly complain of being hungry, or refuse to eat what she's supposed to, month after month," Weiss writes in the April issue of Vogue. And "exhausting."

So, she put her daughter on a strict, Weight Watchers-like diet for kids. She chronicles her Tiger Mom approach to every single calorie her kid took in. No infraction too small, she humiliated young Bea at every opportunity - the more public the better. She railed at other moms who fed her kid at playdates. She tore into a Starbucks Barista about, well here, read it for yourself:

"I once reproachfully deprived Bea of her dinner after learning that her observation of French Heritage Day at school involved nearly 800 calories of Brie, filet mignon, baguette, and chocolate. I stopped letting her enjoy Pizza Fridays when she admitted to adding a corn salad as a side dish one week. I dressed down a Starbucks barista when he professed ignorance of the nutrition content of the kids' hot chocolate whose calories are listed as "120-210" on the menu board: Well, which is it? When he couldn't provide an answer, I dramatically grabbed the drink out of my daughter's hands, poured it into the garbage, and stormed out....

And there have been many awkward moments at parties, when Bea has wanted to eat, say, both cookies and cake, and I've engaged in a heated public discussion about why she can't."

Mom Gets Book Deal

With all that humiliation and intense maternal scrutiny and judgment, Bea lost 16 pounds.

Now Weiss has a book deal. I think I read somewhere its working title is: "Heavy." Weiss is being called a lot of things today in the viral, media sensation that has erupted after her Vogue article.

She admits Bea is "traumatized." But her proud mother, it seems, is thrilled. She says she's taught her daughter a valuable, lifelong lesson.

I'll say she has.

Does forcing your 2nd grader onto a strict diet prevent or cause eating disorders?
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Does forcing your 2nd grader onto a strict diet prevent or cause eating disorders?
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Anonymous | Jun 16, 2012
If your kid is obese at 7, it's either something medical or it's something you're doing, so rather than tormenting this child, she should be taking her to a pediatrician, and herself to a goddamn shrink. Obviously the child needed to lose weight, and the appropriate response would be to ask for a doctor and a nutritionist's advice, feed her healthy foods throughout the day and promote healthy activities, not humiliate her in public.
caprice | Jun 6, 2012
I have mixed feelings. My experience is that my parents started me on diets at age 7. I was very overweight. On one hand, I wish as a family we could have made healthier choices, but when you are 7 with overweight parents, and you are the only one on a diet, it was impossible! I am not sure what they were thinking, but I didn't get to be overweight by myself. We didn't eat healthy and I didn't have positive role models. I do wish I would have lost the weight way back then, as it would have saved me years of pain and ridicule. I am not sure the mother mentioned in the article did it the correct way, either. However, if the girl keeps off the weight, I think she may be grateful later on.
Kate | Apr 24, 2012
My father and mother have coerced me to diet since I was 7, continuously, till I went to college at 19. I was not allowed sweets, pasta, pizza, burgers at all, sometimes not even bread or fries; there was no fruit available other than oranges, which I've learned to hate. Once my father found a chocolate in my desk drawer and threw a fit I still can't forget. Far from making me become a thin, athletic, gorgeous woman, this practice has led me to binge, overexercise (and as a result damage joints and muscle), constant worry about what I eat, constant calorie-count, violence towards own body, hate of own body, intimacy issues, issues with the way I dress, and - perhaps most importantly - a fake relationship with my parents. Throughout the years I learned that to be loved I have to be thin, so now each time I visit them - even as an adult - I'd better make sure I'm thin, else my dad starts ranting that I'm a failure & will never achieve anything, although professionally and creatively it is not so.
Anonymous | Apr 10, 2012
I don't know how I would have turned out if she had, but I sort of wish I knew how I would have if my mom had done that. She let me eat what I wanted, which I appreciated at the time, but after spending most of my adult life fat, I wish it had all been nipped in the bud when I first weighed 10 pounds more than my two best friends. I wish that, but this mom still sounds like a nutty B.
Anonymous | Apr 7, 2012
Yeah, she may have gone a bit far with it. But children need guidance, and they don't need to be given everything they want. They certainly don't need to be allowed to develop a pattern of comfort-eating.
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