Online Dating Picture Mistakes Midlife Women Make

What to include and what to leave out of your online dating profile.

Online Dating PhotoSource: Getty Images

You'll catch a man's attention with the right online dating profile.

Midlife women typically complain that men on dating sites only want someone younger, but the truth is with a great profile they will attract the right guy for them. How to do it? Pictures are the first place to start.

Men are even more visual than women when it comes to contacting someone online, but that doesn't mean you have to be a beauty queen or size two. Photos that show off your life and unique personality will set you apart in the online dating world.

Profile Mistake: Old Photos and Too Much Skin

Women who are in great shape (and even some who aren't) sometimes show pictures of themselves in low-cut tops and swimsuits. Even if the pictures are from vacation shots (and you're using them to help tell your story), it will give the wrong message to guys on the system. If you're looking for a genuine relationship, avoid posting pictures with too much skin.

What about an older picture of you that makes you look really great? Forget it. Take fresh photos that show who you are right now. Women sometimes post an older shot because it makes them feel good, but the reality is that guys want to see what you're all about right now in the present.

Another no-no is posting photos with you and a kid. Even if it's your kid (and you naturally want your guy to love children), your date only wants to see you. Anything that takes attention away from it, including pictures of your kids, will make his attention go elsewhere online. He may move on to a new online dating profile without even contacting you.

Profile Success: Photos That Show Your Personality

Contrary to popular belief, guys don't just want a pretty face. They want someone they can have fun with, enjoy great conversation, and even someone who will challenge them out of their comfort zones a bit. The way to attract someone online is to show them as much of your personality as you can, and photos are one way to do that.

Ideally, you want between three to five photos in varying poses and backgrounds. Let the photos reflect things you talk about in your profile. If you say you're adventurous, for example, show a picture of yourself on a thrill-seeker vacation or the view from a spot that you bungee jumped from. These types of illustrations help a guy get a better sense of who you are.

Don't worry if your favorite hobbies involve going to new restaurants or reading books, either. It isn't the type of activities you do, it's the fact that you are a vibrant, unique woman. So let your photos reflect that.

Related:

What bugs you about the type of photos seen on online dating sites?
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Cindy | Jul 10, 2012
What bugs me are photos that guys post showing everything BUT them. They might have one picture of them and all the others are pictures of their dog, their car, their backyard, their friends or family, a photo of something else that they thought was "interesting." Please. Let me see YOU. I can check out all the other stuff later if things progress that far. If it doesn't, I don't need to see the other stuff anyway.
Anonymous | Jul 6, 2012
This article is spot on. Another poster complained that men do the same things (she's probably right but I haven't looked at any guys' profiles so i can't say) but this article is about women. The old photo trick is pathetic. you'll see a couple vibrant photos, then another that looks much older. it's obvious that some of the photos are 5 or more years old. Unfortunately, this trick often works because inexperienced guys focus on the good photos and tend to ignore the less attractive ones. Always focus on the LEAST attractive photo...that's what she looks like now. people rarely get better looking with age. You should definitely include at least one head-to-toe photo. Most women's body type descriptions are not entirely honest. Also include one clear face shot from fairly close. Other mistakes women make are using horrible quality photos. Some are taken with their computer's webcam and they just look dark and dreary. Others show women not smiling and even frowning or with strange unattractive facial expressions. It blows my mind at the terrible photos many women post. How about group photos where you can't tell which person it is? Remember people, YOU know what you look like, but strangers don't. If you're going to post a group photo, let people know which one is you. I don't mind ONE photo with you and your kids. If you have a photo with your brother, let us know that it's your brother. I also don't mind ONE glamour photo. But since you don't look like that all the time, don't post ALL glamour photos. Ten years ago, when not everybody had a digital camera, these terrible photos were understandable. But today, they're inexcusable.
Noneofyourbusiness | Jul 6, 2012
WhI think that maybe your article should focus on middle-aged men and how they do the exact same things as you stated in your above article only much, much worse. I've read profiles where the men are angry or jaded because some woman "did them wrong", think the world "owes" them something, when contacting me are sexually perverse, outright mean. I've also seen many men of that age posting pictures of themselves with other women, their children, flagrantly boasting of the toys they own. It's a great big turnoff to me, and that's why I go for younger men. It's funny how men my age act so amazingly immature when they see I prefer younger men. Some have even gone ballistic over the fact that I do (and yet somehow it's okay for men to do so?). Yes, men aren't alone in this, we women have also gone that route. I've had men my age actually want to hang with me on our first meet. What is this hang thing, when did dating go out of vogue?at do you think?
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