Pregnant Over 40

Surprise! You're pregnant! And you didn't try to become pregnant… and you passed your 40th birthday quite awhile ago. So now what? Getting pregnant over 40 isn't uncommon, but if you've just found out you are pregnant, you might be in shock. Or elated. Or probably a little of both.

Let Your Emotions Get Settled

Your first response might be to get on the phone with your girlfriends and share the news, but before you do, let your emotions find their balance first. You will probably feel a range of things, from fear to jubilation, and everything in between. You might laugh about the whole thing one minute, and cry the next. As if the hormones involved with pregnancy weren't enough to make your emotions spin, the thought of having children when most people are expecting grandchildren is enough to make you feel scared and silly all at the same time.

Roll With Your Friend's Opinions

In an ideal world, your friends would be happy for you and share the good news that you're having a baby at midlife. But many midlife moms find that their friends are less than encouraging, and instead of congratulating you they may try to project their own opinions and fears on you. While you're celebrating the new path your world is taking, your friend might say things like:

• "I would never want to do that."
• "Better you than me."
• "Are you sure this is what you want?"
• "How are you going to pull this off?"

Don't let your friend's opinions or fears make you feel bad or confused. Know that when someone sends this kind of negativity your way, it's because they can't imagine receiving this type of news themselves. Since they are not in the same exact position, they don't really understand how it feels.

Seek Out Other Over 40 Moms

It's easy to find support groups if you're an over-40 mom, either online or in person. To find a group in your area (or one on the Web), search for "over 40 moms" or "pregnant over 40" on places like Yahoo Groups, Meetup, or even Facebook. Your doctor may also be able to recommend a group of other women who are over 40 and pregnant that you can talk to. Having a few people in your world who understand the financial, emotional, and physical concerns you have will help you make better choices and prevent you from feeling alone.

Get the Right Medical Info

Talk to your doctor about any medical concerns he or she has for you specifically. It's all too easy to get caught up in misinformation and horror stories you might read or see other places. While it's true that having a baby can be more difficult when you're over 40, a lot depends on your individual health and medical history.

One thing is for certain. More and more women are having babies later in life. One news story last year said that birth rates for women over 45 had risen by 4 percent, and that "women over 40 were also more likely to be first-time mothers than in past years." Life is filled with unexpected twists and turns, so celebrate the new little person that will soon make their way into your world, and be confident that you can do all you need to in order to have and raise your baby.

More on Spirit and Family:

• 5 Ways to Banish Self Doubt
• No Cost Ways to Nurture Your Spirit
• What Is Love?