"Who am I?" At Midlife, it's Easy to Feel Alone with this Question

As editorial director of Life Goes Strong, I am thrilled by the growing number of comments our stories are generating. And it's very interesting for me to see that some of the stories eliciting the most responses center on the question: Who am I?

In the media there is a tendency to neatly tether together certain people, groups, indeed, entire generations. This fettering makes for nice, easy-to-market-to entities. But of course life isn't always that simple, and there's nothing easy about being a midlifer. I know I certainly don't feel like a group or an entity.

So when I say you have been responding to the question "Who am I?" it is not in the group sense (eg. "We midlifers feel this…"), but rather as an individual with your own driving concerns. The fact that your concerns may be shared by many others your age really doesn't much matter. Your work situation, your health, your sense of identity as you deal with aging parents and kids entering college is all-consuming to you. We hear you. And we are here for you.

For example, one recent story that has gotten quite a bit of buzz on our Family Goes Strong vertical concerns Open Adoption. When we were kids, the idea that adoptees could contact their birth mothers was all but unheard of. Today, it's not only possible, it opens a Pandora's Box of emotional issues. So it's great to hear your experiences with this issue. Whether you are an adoptee, a parent who adopted, or just close to someone who fits either bill, you understand that few issues ask "Who am I?" more than this one.

One of our reader's writes:

I am an adoptive mother in an open adoption with my daughter's birth mom and yes, absolutely it's hard to hear my daughter's mom when she is struggling but it's also an enormous blessing to see them laughing together. When my daughter has questions about her adoption, she doesn't have to wonder [if] I don't have the answers — we can get on the phone and call her birth mom and ask. That's huge. HUGE. Is open adoption easy? No. Worth it? Totally.

Another reader writes:

I love that you say: "Part of the adoption journey is understanding that you weren't abandoned at all, that you in fact were special enough that you had two sets of parents who made difficult decisions in order for you to live life to your fullest potential." This is SO true!!

And another, who gave up a child for adoption, writes:

All birth mothers I've met who placed [a child] in a closed or semi-open adoption hurt at least as much as me, they don't forget and the emotions and heart wrenching feelings are still there.

At Life Goes Strong, we understand that not all stories speak to you. But we are thrilled to offer the type of variety that addresses the larger questions in your life.

Thanks for reading. And if you like what you have been seeing on our site, do please let your friends know about us. After all, we are, each of us, unique—but we are not alone. We are in this together.