Breasts, Pecs, and Abs: How to Help Your Teens Feel Good About Their Bodies

It's tough for teens to feel great about their physiques when a role model like Jessica Alba says her breasts are "saggy" and "every actress out there is more beautiful than me." Not surprisingly, Alba's remarks (in the November issue of the United Kingdom's GQ and on dozens of tabloid sites) got far more attention than the National Organization for Women's Love Your Body Day (Oct. 20). Help your kids feel good about their bodies, even if celebrities such as Alba and plastic surgery queen Heidi Montag seem not to.

"Parents need to realize that body image is very related to self-esteem," says pediatrician Charles Wibbelsman, chief of adolescent Medicine for Kaiser Permanente in San Francisco. Here's what you can do to nip some problems in the bud:

Breasts. In a country where about 300,000 women get implants each year, it's easy to feel pancake flat even if you're normal. Share breast augmentation statistics with your teens. And talk to them about whether they think Montag looks better with her F cups. You can also bring up Kate Hudson, who appears much bustier these days. (Us Weekly and the Huffington Post, among others, say she invested in implants and post bikini "evidence.") And Audrina Patridge, another teen role model, denies getting surgery — but, as tabloids enthusiastically report, looks far more endowed these days. Why not bring up famous small-chested beauties, such as Keira Knightley and Audrey Hepburn? And if your teen seems headed toward unnecessarily going under the knife, you can always point out some drawbacks: cost ($4,000 to $10,000), side effects (including hard "capsular contracture" from scar tissue forming around the implant), and upkeep (like other medical devices, implants can wear out and require replacement). But make sure your kids also understand the potential benefits for breast cancer survivors, such as Christina Applegate.

Height. Your child can't do anything about being on the short side. "I'm always aghast when a father will bring in his son who's 12 and say, 'he's not tall enough,'" says Wibbelsman. "That is not good." Think about how such comments hurt a child's self esteem. You can always show your kids government data, which shows typical 12-year-old boys and girls are about 5-foot-1, whereas typical 18-year-old boys are 5-foot-9 ½ and typical 18-year-old girls are 5-foot-4.

Abs. With his six-pack tummy, Taylor Lautner is not the norm. Remind your kids that plenty of male and female hotties — from Kim Kardashian to Gerard Butler and Russell Crowe — look as though they indulge in a pizza now and then. Sure, many Hollywood heartthrobs seem to have abs of steel, but it's possible to be healthy and cute without them. (Of course, you and your kids can always try Lautner's workout, which is healthy but tough.)

Pecs. Is "The Situation" truly your child's role model? Probably not. That said, a little weight training is a good idea. The American College of Sports Medicine recommends that Americans do eight to 10 strength-training exercises, with eight to 12 repetitions of each exercise, two times a week.

Weight. Avoid the temptation to pressure your child to be supermodel thin. No, "you need to be this weight, and don't eat this, and don't eat that," says Wibbelsman. These remarks might even trigger an eating disorder. Of course, because of health risks, you don't want your child to be obese. Help him out. "Healthy does not mean coming home from school and eating a bag of potato chips," says Wibbelsman. "Somebody had to buy this food." Limit how much time your family spends playing videogames and watching TV(and while you're at it, get the tube out of the bedroom). At the same time, also do not pressure your kids to be a certain weight for activities such as ballet or wrestling, says Wibbelsman. If you want to figure out a healthy weight based on the body mass index, you can use the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention's calculator.

Here's a vow you and your kids can take: to love, honor, and respect your bodies.