We may travel the world in search of our passion, only to find it in our own backyard. In Elisabeth Squires' case, all she had to do to find it was look down.
Squires, author of Boobs, a Guide to Your Girls (Seal 2007), has become as famous as The Boob Lady, lecturing to women and girls on breast health and self-acceptance.
With all her speaking engagements, she's managed to keep abreast of more authoring. She's in the process of writing two follow-ups, Mammoirs: Tales from the Front and Boobs: A Guide to Growing Girls, for girls who are just beginning to blossom. (For more on her background, see this 2006 interview with the Seattle Post Intelligencer.)
We talked about the many ways we see breasts — literally and figuratively, and how we can help our girls love theirs just the way they are.
Family Goes Strong: How did you begin your exploration of this topic"
Squires: I'd lost quite a bit of weight and gotten my body back after having three children. But my breasts were spent; they looked sad lying against my chest. I decided to have a breast lift, to put my breasts back where they were before.
I wrote a short story about the experience, and as I was writing, I realized that our breasts are constantly changing. They change their sizes and shapes, and we change what we do with them — being sexually provocative, nursing children, having a friend use them for a good cry. Out of the story came the idea for the book.
FGS: For Boobs: A Guide to Your Girls, you spoke to women of all ages, as well as experts. Did you find some generational differences?
Squires: For women in their 40s and 50s, there were quite a number of surprising things. For one thing, breasts keep changing all the way past menopause. Some women who didn't like their breasts when they were 20 liked them more now. Sometimes, they felt like they had finally grown into them. Others had made a decision to do something to change them.
It was also interesting that older women tend give up wearing bras. The older they get, the less likely they are to wear a bra. They don't want to be constrained or bound any more. Women want to be comfortable with themselves at this age.
FGS: What's another intriguing tidbit in the book for midlife women?
Squires: We hear myths that men prefer larger breasts. Studies have shown men aren't that discriminating. They like to be around any breasts at all. What men know that women don't is that they're all unique. Especially when women are younger, we compare ourselves to images in the media. I go around speaking to young girls in middle schools explaining that even the women on magazine covers don't really have the attributes they see.
FGS: What's your advice for mothers of teen-age girls, who might be going through this?
Squires: Take a look at magazine covers. Most of the women's magazines covers will show a B or C cup on the front, but bra fitters will tell you that the average woman is closer to an E cup. If our daughters feel they're bigger than the norm, they may be uncomfortable. My daughter is bigger than a D. I've gone out of my way to buy her pretty bras, because I knew it would make her feel better.
That's a good tip for women of any age: Don't skimp on your lingerie wardrobe. If you're wearing gorgeous underwear, you feel like a rock star. It's the thing that's closest to your heart.
FGS: What about cleavage? If a woman is showing a lot, is it okay to look?
Squires: Your boobs wield a lot of power. They're distracting to both men and women. It makes people very uncomfortable. I don't think it's appropriate to wear cleavage in the workplace — unless it's part of your job description. Men feel they can't say anything, because of sexual harassment laws. Scientific studies show women are looked down upon personally and professionally if they show too much breast. It's just like wearing a tank top or mini skirt in a professional setting. What do you want people to pay attention to?
FGS: Any thoughts to leave us with?
Squires: We focus on breasts being all about bras; women need to think outside the bra and take care of their overall health. Our breasts are the symbol not only of our womanhood. They symbolize nurturing, sexuality. They're like snowflakes and we should celebrate them.