Today, many TV shows, movies, and music videos depict a lot of sexuality — but rarely talk about making responsible decisions or using condoms. Think about some of the programs (such as "True Blood," with its orgies) nominated for last night's Emmy Awards. And look at Lady Gaga's disturbing "Paparazzi."
To the rescue: the American Academy of Pediatrics. In its new policy statement on sex, contraception, and the media (released today in the journal Pediatrics), the AAP notes the "major disconnect between what mainstream media portray — casual sex and sexuality with no consequences— and what children and teenagers need — straightforward information about human sexuality and the need for contraception when having sex." The AAP is recommending steps pediatricians can take. But here are 10 ideas for what you can do to help make sure your teen's media use is not promoting early, unsafe sex:
1. Monitor what media your child views. U.S. kids and teens spend more than seven hours a day with different media (mostly TV) — often filled with sexual messages and images. More than three-quarters of prime-time programs contain sexual content, yet only 14 percent of these incidents mention risks or responsibilities, according to a 2005 Kaiser Family Foundation report. (If you've looked at any of the recent additions to the cable TV lineup, in particular, you undoubtedly will conclude the figures are even worse today.)
2. Teach your children well. Make sure they understand basic anatomy — and true love. Do you want your kids learning about sex from cable TV shows? "If you don't do it, the media will do it for you," says Dr. Victor C. Strasburger, author of the Pediatrics policy statement and professor of pediatrics at the University of New Mexico School of Medicine in Albuquerque. You can also buy Everything You Never Wanted Your Kids to Know About Sex, but Were Afraid They'd Ask: The Secrets to Surviving Your Child's Sexual Development from Birth to the Teens by Dr. Justin Richardson and Dr. Mark Schuster or My Body, My Self for Girls or My Body, My Self for Boys by Lynda Madaras — and put them where your kids will notice them. Strasburger remembers reading a book his mom left out for his sister: "You don't necessarily have to say, 'Here. Read this pamphlet from Planned Parenthood.'"
3. Bring up their peers. Feel free to say, "Do you know anyone at school who is having sex?" says Strasburger. "What do you think about that?"
4. Get TV's out of bedrooms. Studies link them to greater substance use and sexual activity by teens. View shows with your kids in a communal area. Then you can say, "Why aren't they talking about birth control?" says Strasburger. "Your opinion counts for more than what's on the screen."
5. Remember the web. It's another minefield. An earlier study published in Pediatrics looked at 1,500 10- to 17-year-old internet users — and found that nearly half had seen online pornography in the previous year.
6. Skip risqué, adult-themed films. Don't let kids or grandkids see inappropriate PG-13 or R-rated movies at the theater or on DVD's at home. (The Pediatrics policy statement recommends that pediatricians counsel parents on this matter.)
7. Talk to your kids about condoms. Tell them you believe in waiting for sex until they get married (if that's true), but also give them information about protection. Say, "You're going to have sex some day, and unless you're ready for me to be grandma or grandpa, you're going to need to use birth control," says Strasburger. In July the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention released its most recent Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance survey, which found that 46 percent of all high school seniors have had sex, and 14 percent have had at least four partners. Another CDC study showed one in four teens has already contracted a sexually transmitted infection. The United States holds the dubious honor of leading the western world in its teen pregnancy rate. "The American public needs to know that unprotected teen sex is costing them millions and millions of dollars," says Strasburger. "It's costing their teenagers their futures."
8. Do your homework. Check out the sex-and-violence reviews for TV shows and movies on commonsensemedia.org. The write-up for "True Blood," for example, notes nudity, simulated sex acts (including orgies), and images of women stripping. Oh, and vampire blood is sold as an alternative to Viagra.
9. Pay attention to music, too. Is your teen listening to imprisoned rapper Lil Wayne, with his raunchy "lick like a lollipop" lyrics? Check out which singers your kids are gaga over. Listen to their lyrics and watch their videos on youtube. Then you're better equipped to discuss the messages, which often feature degrading sexual references.
10. Support advertisements for birth control products. The Pediatrics policy statement notes that other countries advertise birth control and end up with far fewer adolescents carrying babies. Why are Viagra ads allowed on TV—whereas condom ads are not? "It's the hypocrisy that is so depressing," says Strasburger. "It's OK to talk about four-hour erections, but it's not OK to talk about preventing pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases….It's irresponsible of us to have all this sexual content without giving kids appropriate direction about the need to use caution and contraception." Parents complain that Viagra ads air on baseball and football broadcasts that dads are watching with their sons. But Pfizer Inc. has said that it only places ads for Viagra on shows, including sports events, with viewers who are at least 90 percent adult, and the NFL has said only 9 percent of its viewers are under 18. That still means a lot of boys are seeing commercials for erection-enhancing drugs, but not for condoms.
Weigh in: What do you think about how TV shows, movies, the internet, and music videos depict sex?
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